You'll never believe this one

Yesterday a car caught on fire in the lobby of my work.

Beat that internet.

Swaddle Free

Since birth Nate has been dependent on a swaddle to get to sleep.  At first the only way he'd let us lay him down was if he was tightly swaddled.  At first we were using a five point double swaddle with blankets we bought at the hospital. 

Around three months he'd outgrown the blankets, but not the need to swaddle, so we bought a swaddleme and used a receiving blanket to pin his arms to the side.  This is an escape proof way to swaddle any baby.  Every once in a while we'd try putting him down unswaddled.  The first thing he'd do is knock his binky out of his mouth and then start rubbing his face.  He'd get so worked up that the only way to calm him down was to get him into a swaddle ASAP.

A few weeks ago, I noticed that more and more often, he was falling asleep in my lap.  He's also started to move around in the crib a lot while swaddled and I was worried he'd roll over.

We said goodbye to the swaddle on Friday.  The first night he rocked him to sleep and then laid him down.  He woke up three times the first hour but eventually slept for over an hour unswaddled.  It's at that point that we caved and swaddled him loosely for the night.

He's been getting better and better each night.  We've completely lost the swaddle for naps and last night he went swaddle free all night.

He woke up three times but instead of giving us the gut wrenching sobs of despair because he wasn't swaddled, he gave the cries of needing his binky.  The problem we're dealing with now is he'll spit out his binky and I don't think he gets that he's able to find it and put it back in his mouth. 

We've decided to reinsert binky this week and really focus on getting him comfortable sleeping without the swaddle.  Next week we'll give him 5-10 minutes to self-soothe and hopefully figure things out.

I predict a few weeks of little to no sleep in my future!

Wish us luck!

Two things

My work smells like an army of old people are attacking.  There is this sickly sweet smell that you cannot hide from.  We were just told that we do not need to arm ourselves, the smell is a sewage leak that the ventilation is picking up and circulating throughout the building.  

So, yay, I'm not going to be attacked by a walker today but, why the hell is our ventilation system in anyway connected to our sewage system?

In other news, apparently the frat boy weatherman on the morning news where I live does not know what "dry" means.  In my world "dry" weather means no rain, snow, sleet or hail.  Basically the lack of things falling from the sky.

It has rained each of the last three "dry" days.

For shame frat boy weatherman, for shame.

Six Months

Nate turned six months old last week.  I cannot believe this little guy has been around for half a year already!  We took him in for his six month check up yesterday and he's doing great

Weight: 17 lbs 9 oz, 55th percentile
Length: 28 inches, 91st percentile
Head: 17.5 inches, 65th percentile

I went in to the appointment expecting the doctor be extremely concerned about the fact that Nate still isn't rolling in either direction but she barely batted an eye.  He's now able to sit up unsupported, he babbles constantly, and he's finally cut his second tooth.  We still swaddle for naps and at night (at Nate's insistence) so not having the freedom to roll around his crib is probably contributing to the delay.

His sixth month is set to be a busy one.  Easter and his cousin's birthday are next weekend, we've got to take him down to get his six month pictures, plan a trip to visit Grandma and still find time for some snuggles.   And once we get through all that summer will be here and we have to introduce him to the beach, the zoo and farmers markets.

I can't wait! 

Germ Farm

Just when you think it's over..

Apparently Nate doesn't go to daycare, he goes to a germ farm.  And every day he brings home these little bugs that are actively trying to kill me.

I have strep throat, a sinus infection and an ear infection.  Yay me!

When I set out to chronicle motherhood I thought I'd be telling you about Nate's first tooth.  His first word.  His first step.  Nope, I can't even manage to get a current picture of him.  The kid is six months old!  Can you believe it! He also has a tooth!  About two weeks ago he took my hand, put it into his mouth and there was this sharp thing in there.  Jason came and took a look and sure enough, little man had his first little tooth.  The second bottom tooth has been struggling to break through.  We can see it, but it can't see us.  Unfortunately this has let to what medically is called "fussy-butt".

I really hope this ends soon.  I really miss my happy little guy.  The baby he has been replaced with is just as adorable and gives the best snuggles, but he also is just the worlds un-happiest baby.  Though to be perfectly honest I know we're getting off pretty easy.  A fussy Nate is still not overly fussy.  He distracts easily and loves gnawing on frozen bananas.

I guess this is all part of a bigger lesson though.  Shit happens and you just have to roll with it.  I have my beloved anti-biotic and I'm sure once I'm done with those I'll just some other bug.  Nate will continue to do amazing things like grow teeth and say "ah-BA!" and buzz his lips.  The world will keep moving.

Even if I do feel like poop.

Foooood

Today is one of those rare days that I get to stay home with Nate, and not because either of us are sick.

Daycare is closed for one of their teacher in service days.  What in service a teacher to the infant crowd needs, I'll never know.  But, I had to take the day off of work, because apparently a 5 month old is too young to leave home alone.

We as a family are all recovered from poo-a-palooza.  Nate has gone back to sleeping 10-12 hours, which means Jason and I are now getting 6-8 hours THANK GOD.  So now that we aren't at the beck and call of our young son's tushy I've put my efforts into baking.

I'm on this random baking rampage.  I cannot make enough.  As soon as one batch of cookies is done, I want to make a coffee cake.  As soon as that's done I want to make brownies.  It's DANGEROUS.  We're going through so much butter in this house that I fear we won't survive.

Jason's getting the cooking bug too.  He made dinner on Saturday night.  The main dish was this amazingly flavorful and moist meatloaf.  It was IN-CRED-ABLE.  He accompanied it with salt potatoes - a recipe we saw on TV.  Basically, boil small red potatoes in a cup and a half of salt until they're tender and then smother them in butter.  And there were also vegetables.

I'm hoping the family can survive this culinary trend without diabetes or a heart attack.  If you don't see a new post for a few weeks, mourn for us, but know we died with a full belly.

I'm not dead

I'm just exhausted.

Nate's been getting up 5-7 times a night, needing a diaper change each time.  Of course any time we touch his butt he'd scream.

So, since last Thursday, Jason and I have gotten a combined total of about 15 hours of sleep.

Things are healing - he now has a new layer of skin over most of the affected area, it's just still sensitive.  Hopefully once this all heals the three of us can take a nice long nap together.

Holy Poop Batman!

I'm wrapping up the worst night Nate has ever had.

Monday afternoon I left work a bit early not feeling well.  Guess who got yet another 24 hour stomach virus?  So, Monday night was a sleepless night for me, because it's really hard to sleep on a bathroom floor while you're waiting to toss your cookies.  We sent Nate to daycare on Tuesday so that I could stay home, sleep and recover.  Nate must have gotten at least a part of the virus I had because the acid poo started sometime on Tuesday and has continued.

Acid poo is a very unique variety of poo in that it's not super stinky, it doesn't come out in large amounts, but it has this horrifying ability to eat through Nate's skin.

His poor butt is red, with a few sores that have opened and are bleeding a little.

Yes - I have a doctors appointment, it's just not until 11.

So, starting around 10 p.m. he started waking up about every half an hour, screaming, screaming in pain.  He managed to get a 53 minute stretch in around 2 a.m. but that's when it all ended.

So far, in the last 7 hours, I have changed five diapers. each diaper change comes with at least ten minutes of screaming, with no way to comfort him.  I'm doing everything I know to make it better and none of it seems to help.  He's exhausted, I'm exhausted, Jason's exhausted because you really can't sleep through the screams coming out of Nate.

So, wish us luck.  Hopefully the doctor has an idea/cream/drug that can take away Nate's pain.  

Pork Butt

The good news is finally out in the world.  My big sister is expecting her third baby on October 14th!  Yay!  Nate's newest cousin will be almost exactly a year younger then he is!

And now that everyone knows and I don't need to worry about letting something slip, I can start talking to the rest of my family again.  Which is good because no one has seen Nate since I went back to work a month ago (!).  So, tomorrow we're having the whole family over to our tiny tiny house for dinner.

One of the great things about my maternity leave was I was able to get back into the kitchen and starting cooking again.  I pretty much had given up all cooking while pregnant, and by the end of the pregnancy there was little I was able to eat because of the gestational diabetes, so I made it my mission to make Jason so fat that no one would love him but me.

I got a new set of cookbooks and started watching old episodes of America's Test Kitchen.  One week they made this pork butt that had me drooling.  It calls for a 6-8 lbs hunk of meat so I haven't been able to try out the recipe, but with six adults and three children coming over, it's on!

The big problem I'll have to solve is where to put these six adults and three children.  Our "dining room" is really just a wide hallway with a table in it.  I'm sure we'll manage to make everyone fit, but it'll still be like solving a giant tetris puzzle.  I really cannot wait until things turn around with the housing market.  This house was perfect for two adults, we had plenty of space, but since we added Nate it's tight.  There's no storage and so there's just stuff everywhere.

I called a real estate agent a few months ago about comps in the neighborhood.  Interest rates were so low we figured we could upgrade and keep the same mortgage payment, but to sell now would mean barely getting enough to pay off the mortgage and not hing to cover closing or to roll into a new house, so here we stay.

Really?

Nate's transition to daycare has been a huge adjustment for him.  I gave him two weeks of "sameness" to start out with.  We used the centers bottles, the centers blankets, diapers etc.  At the end of two weeks he still wasn't eating much, or sleeping well and had two really bad cases of diaper rash.  The diaper rash has already resolved itself.  Vaseline fixes anything. 

After two weeks we started to make minor adjustments, the first change was we brought in a set of our bottles.  When Nate was born, we had to supplement and getting him back on the boob was really important to me.  He came out as a great latcher but after a week of primarily formula he would refuse to latch.  A friend told us to try to Tommee Tippee anti-colic bottles because a) they were shaped more like a boob and it might help him get his latch back and b) my boy is a ninja when it comes to spitting up and I was very quickly running out of clean shirts.

These bottles are AMAZING.  Seriously - we love them.  They have only one draw back.  They are expensive.  Like, $10 a bottle expensive.  My dad bought us the "newborn gift set" which had two 4 oz bottles and four 9 oz. bottles.  We were happy, Nate was happy.  His latching got better, his gas disappeared and the spit-ups got less intense.  We really, really didn't want to have to spend $40 for 4 bottles.  But we did, and we noticed an immediate improvement.

So, eating is taken off the list of concerns.  Now we're dealing with sleeping.

Nate comes home from daycare exhausted.  He takes two short naps, instead of the three or four hour long naps he'd take at home in the same time period. Nate is still swaddled, he loves it, he sleeps, I sleep, it's awesome.  I've told his teacher he needs it, but it sounds like she's not very good at it.

I brought in a swaddleme for her to use - that and a receiving blanket and this kid will sleep for hours.  I showed her how to use it on Wednesday and she was really happy to have it and told me they'd start using it for his next nap.  I really hope that helps solve this problem.

All of that leads me into what has me getting all mama bear.

Nate slept great last night.  He got up at 5:30, was happy, we played, we ate, we got dressed and by the time we got to daycare he was ready for a nap.  The teacher that's handling drop offs this week isn't in his room, which is the only reason I'm not completely freaking out.

I swaddled Nate in the swaddleme and showed her how we use it in combination with the receiving blanket.  I give Nate his binky and get him all nice and calm and relaxed - drowsy, but awake, which is how we put him down at home. I put Nate down, tell him I love him, and go to put on my shoes and coat.  Nate's awake, his eyes are open, but he's just happily sucking on his binky and looking around.  The teacher walks over to him, says "He's not sleepy" picks him up and walks away from us.

Really?  I'm his mother - do you REALLY think that I don't know when he's ready to go down?  He wasn't crying, or fussing.  He was laying there and if he had been left alone he would have fallen asleep.  If he hadn't, fine, pick him up. But god damn, give him a chance to fall asleep.

Anyway, rant over.  She's not his teacher so this isn't going to be a continuing problem, I just get mad thinking about it.

Blerg

Snowpocalypse!!!!

There's half an inch of snow on the ground so everything has SHUT DOWN. Thank god! Today was going to be a marathon. Nate is now waking up at 4 a.m. and I probably wouldn't have gotten home till after 7.

I love living in a city that loses it's shit at the slightest hint of snow/ice. Jason is less so. He has a big presentation on Tuesday for class and his group was going to work on it today. Not anymore 'cause it's a SNOW DAY!!

ETA: Looks like I spoke too soon.  The University didn't close so Jason had to go in.  But, Nate's daycare did close so I still got to stay home.  ITS A SNOW DAY BITCHES!

He Won't Sleep!

This weekend... sucked.

Nate's been going through some stuff.  A cold, major mental developments, introductions to rice cereal, and the net effect has been that he's basically stopped sleeping through the night.  Jason and I were completely unprepared for this kind of sleep deprivation.  We're talking, up every 2-3 hours, newborn kind of sleep deprivation.  But unlike a newborn, Nate isn't content to eat then go back to sleep.  No, he wants to PLAY.

We're really hoping this is a short phase.  From the get go Nate's been an awesome sleeper.  He doesn't fight it, he's content to ride the sleep train for over eight hours straight.  Jason and I are trying to form an equitable plan to handle these middle of the night wakings.

We'd talked about switching off every other night - but figured our little kidlet would then only wake up when it was my turn, so we settled on a evening shift and a morning shift and then switching every other day.

The problem with this plan is this: we live in a small house.  EVERY noise this kid makes wakes me up and has me laying in bed wondering if he'll put himself back to sleep or if someone needs to get up to soothe him.  So, when it's Jason's turn to get up with the baby, I'm the one pushing on his shoulder mumbling "honey... baby...."

And it's not like Jason's intentionally sleeping through the squeaks and cries.  He genuinely doesn't hear it.  Biology in action I guess.

Anyway, the net result of this current phase is that we got nothing done this weekend and we're both starting the week pooped.

I say again - knowing you're going to be sleep deprived for 6 months and then BEING sleep deprived for six months are two very different things.

4 Months

Way back when, while I was pregnant someone told me that I should get a big stuffed animal and then take a picture of Nate next to it each month so we could see how he's growing in relation to a fixed object. Naturally I completely forgot to do this when he was born, but we've been pretty good about keeping it up since.

So - I present you with four months of Nate, next to Mort the Monkey. You'll notice that the picture quality increases as he's gained the ability to sit still



We took him to the doctor for his four month well child check yesterday. We now know that our boy is becoming more and more average.

Height: 26" (84th percentile, down from 93rd)
Weight: 15.2 lbs (50th percentile, down from 75th)

The kiddo is lean... I predict having a difficult time finding pants!

Bad Day

Man what a week!

Yesterday was just... insane.  Nate woke up at 4, so by the time we left for daycare/work he had already had a nap.  One of the guys I work with has a baby that's about a month younger then Nate.  He didn't have child care yesterday and brought his daughter in.  We had a long meeting and they they were at, and I swear my milk let down three times - to the point that I had to go to the bathroom and express some.  Try doing that when you're not wearing a nursing bra!

I got to roll right from that into a meeting where I found out I'm losing so much budget that I won't have enough to pay staff.  I'm still not sure how I'm going to work that one out.  I see FTE reductions in our future.  I have such amazing people working for me, I don't know how we'll continue to operate if I have to replace staff.  Of course this didn't come out till the last ten minutes of an hour and a half long meeting. 

By the time the day is finally over I'm so ready to leave.  I pack my stuff, head to the train, find a comfy seat and I'm immediately surrounded by asshole teenagers.  Normally, this wouldn't be that big of a deal expect there was an accident and the trains stopped running.  It was going to take a while for busses to be set up and we were all told to find a different way of getting home.

I live in a different state from where I work.  There are two ways for me to get home using public transportation.  I can take a train to a bus and cross the river, or, I can take a Premium Express bus all the way home.  The Premium Express bus costs $3.50.  Guess who had $1?

Yeah.  Me.

It really did end up working out.  I called a girlfriend and met her at a bar, another friend joined us.  We drank, we laughed, I got a ride home.

New Toys

We decided that Sunday was going to be a day of rest.  And not the exhausted I've been sick and just need sleep rest, actual rest.  We bought a canon T1i digital SLR last week and then got so sick we couldn't figure out how to use it.  So, on Sunday we played with it until the battery died, charged the battery then played with it some more.
I'm not going to lie, this sucker wasn't cheap, especially since neither Jason or I are that into photography.  We had a little powershot that did what it was supposed to do, but none of the pictures it took was that great, and they always seemed somewhat flat to me.

We started talking about getting an SLR over Christmas.  Everyone had been very generous with us, and while we do have a fair share of bills to pay, we wanted something fun, that wasn't necessarily for the baby.  We went back and forth for a while.  Was it worth it, would I even be able to use it given how bad my vision is, yada, yada, etc.

I did some research online and we went to a local camera store to play with the real thing.  I'm SO glad we bought this camera!  First of all, Nate is just a cute kid.  I know he's ours and all parents think there kid is the cutest, but I've seriously had people come up to me and tell me that when they have kids, they hope they're as cute as Nate, so the fact that we now have a camera that can capture his expressions is awesome.  Secondly, full auto mode rocks.  I don't need to be able to see what I'm trying to take a picture of, the camera can see it and that's all that really matters.

So, prepared to be inundated with pictures of a baby - as soon as I'm not at work.

We Survived!

My little family has passed another major milestone - sickness.

I don't know what happened.  I woke up yesterday feeling awful and that quickly progressed to wanting to die.  I called Jason at 10 and asked him to come home - there was no way I was going to be able to watch a baby and be as sick as I was.

When Jason got home (feeling fine) he decided to take Nate out and run some errands so I could rest.  By the time he got back home, he'd been struck down too.

So now you have both Jason and I feeling horrible, having to put Nate down so we could tend to our business and wondering just how we'd make it through the night.  Luckily Jason's mom was free and she brought over supplies and took care of Nate while Jason and I moaned and groaned.

We both felt pretty bad this morning, but as the day progressed its upgraded to achey and headachey which is a huge step up from death bed.  Still lame, but at least we're able to take care of Nate.

Me and My Toilet

I survived 9 months of pregnancy, 22 hours of labor and 4 hours of pushing without throwing up.

3 days back in the office and I am hugging the toilet with the flu.

LAME.

I Did It

Yesterday was a Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day.  Nate woke up at 4 a.m. which means, so did I.  We ate, we played, we cleaned up an exploding coffee pot.  It turns out that when the carafe isn't in all the way, the water backs up and goes everywhere.  Fun times!

We got to daycare right at 7, filled out some more forms and then gave our baby away.  It sucked.  This is the first time I've handed my baby to someone that he wasn't related too and then left.  I held it together until we were outside then I promptly started to cry.

Work was... work.  It was a strange combination of the familiar and the new.  I was gone for four months but everyone else went on, business as usual.  The temp we hired to help out while I was gone is going to stay on until June, other people have left for other opportunities.  My boss is still my boss, handing out vague edicts and then getting upset when the task isn't done to his specification.

Overall, I did ok.  I held it together and didn't call to check up on him.  I didn't lose it at all - until we got home.  Then I just had a regular old sob fest.  I have no idea what happened to me, but as soon as I got Nate out of his carseat I could not stop crying.  It's the oddest reaction.  I expected that kind of break down when I dropped him off, not when I picked him up!

I did eventually get myself back together.  Nate had a bit of a rough afternoon.  They didn't have his formula, or his bottles at the daycare and his tummy was hurting.  Some gas drops and a two hour nap later he was back to normal.

Now it's day two.  I barely slept last night (my minds fault, not Nate's) so we'll see how long I last.

Today is the Day

I don't want to go.

But I will put my big girl pants on and go.

And if I have to go I'm going to do something I haven't done since May.

Eat a damn bagel.

Now I'm going back to bed.

Four Months

I left work at 38 weeks because I could no longer do the following things:

1. Reach my feet to put on my shoes
2. Get my flip flops on my swollen feet
3. Get my sneakers on my swollen feet
4. Unbend my fingers before 10 a.m.
5. Go three minutes without needing to pee
6. Wear pants

My last day was September 30, 2010.  Tomorrow, I will have been out of the office for four months.  That's the longest I've ever gone without working, and it all ends tomorrow.  I return to the "real world" on February 1, 2011.  I go back to an office of people I (mostly) like.  A job I enjoy and a regular paycheck.  

I decided to only work three days this first week - all half days - in order to adjust.  My boss is being great about what schedule I work.  I figure I'll work until I don't want to anymore then I'll get Nate and go home.  I think out big issue is going to be getting out of the house by 6:45 a.m.  

We're morning people, so I don't think the earliness is going to be the problem, after all that's when I left the house before we had Nate, its that now I have to feed and dress another person while I am in turn feeding and dressing myself.  I'm a pretty organized person, and I already have Nate's tote ready to go.  Stuff to go to daycare: diapers, clothes, Tylenol, gas drops and two binkys and a few things for the bus ride home, a spare diaper and wipes, receiving blanket, warm suit and toy.  I hope that if I have all this ready the night before mornings will be easier.

We don't have any wiggle room either.  Jason has an 8 a.m. class and the professor is crazy about people coming in late.  So, wish us luck! And leave any tips on how to get out of the house if you have them.

Picasa

I have been having way too much fun with Picasa.

A friendly warning to my boss: you probably aren't going to get much work out of me for a while.

Zoo!

Today was such an amazing day, sunny and in the mid-fifties so my big sister and I decided to take the kids to the zoo.  We hauled my 2 and a half year old niece, my 12 month old nephew and Nate out and boy did they have fun!  Well, that is to say my niece and nephew had fun.  Nate slept, Nate ate, Nate pooped - so it really was a normal day for him.

We saw all of the normal zoo things, Nate was either staring at the inside of the stroller, or at my shoulder.  Being a fall baby the kid doesn't have too much experience with the sun and finds the giant ball of fire somewhat distasteful.

I did manage to get my niece into trouble.  While big sister ran to the bathroom I was watching the kids.  My niece ran off and didn't come back when I called her.  I counted to 3 and she stayed where she was shaking her head and saying "No Aunt 'lissa, No!"

So, I went to her, and grabbed her hand just as big sis was coming back.  Well, little niece ran over to big sis crying and carrying on.   Once big sis figured out that little niece didn't come when called it was time out time. Since she misbehaved she had to stay in the stroller for the rest of our trip to the zoo.  She HATED it.  But, big sis figures she'll listen next time.

Big sis is really good at making sure the kiddo's know why they are being punished.  So, she'd ask little niece why she was stuck in the stroller.  The answer we eventually got, translated into adult is "I don't want my Aunt Melissa to come get me.  If she doesn't come get me, I won't run away then I won't have to sit in my stroller".

You have to hand it to her, it's a logical argument.  I have a feeling Nate will be just as logical, to our doom. DOOOOOM!

Daycare

Jason and I just got back from meeting Nate's teacher.  No wonder postpartum depression rates in the US are so high.  We have our babies, get to spend 12 weeks with them and then say goodbye.  They spend the majority of their waking time with their teachers.  But don't forget girls, breast is best! Take your pump to your office and express that milk!

I know most kids go to daycare, and I'm confident that Jason and I have found the best possible environment for Nate.  Volunteer grandma's come in to hold the little babies, they use cloth, I can get there without Jason and pick Nate up.  I'm not worried about Nate being okay, I'm worried about me being okay.  I can't imagine not being with him all day, not getting to see his smile or kiss his tears away.  For Nate's part, he's happy so long as he's fed, rested and played with.  He's so easygoing, and so young that I don't think the transition is going to be that hard for him.

What's funny about this entire situation is I never planned on staying home with the kid(s).  I never thought I'd want to.  So the fact that I'm freaking out about this as much as I am is a huge surprise to me and probably part of the reason I'm finding this so difficult.  I get cabin fever so easily, and I do still feel the need to get out of the house a few times a week, but I'm not being driven crazy by being home with Nate all day.  He's so much fun to interact with, and to be honest, we've been so busy that I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.

6 days left...  I better make it the best 6 days of his life.

Living Free

I just realized that I have been wearing a bra nonstop since sometime in September.  That means my girls, who are used to at least getting 8 hours of bra free play time a day have been caged up in some kind of contraption for five months.  The only exception is when I shower, which for the first few months was every 4 days or so.

To honor my breasts, and to help ease the transition from nursing bras back to my pre-pregnancy bras today I let them roam free.  Enjoy it while it lasts girls!

UPDATE!!!
Yeah, the whole no bra thing lasted about four hours before I went searching for a nursing bra.  Maybe next month girls.

Road Trippin'

Last weekend Jason and I realized that if we wanted to take Nate to meet his Great Grandma and Great Aunt and Uncle we'd have to go this weekend.  I go back to work in a week and Nate starts daycare and the thought of spending 10+ hours in a car the weekend before we make that particular transition is enough to give me a panic attack.

So last Saturday Jason gives everyone a call to make sure they are free and I begin to figure out how you get a three month old to travel five hours without screaming.

It turns out you don't.

We got really lucky on the way down.  After a few hours of continuous napping Nate woke up for lunch.  We laid him on the booth bench so he could get the wiggles out (the wiggles are a genetic condition he got through me).  He was perfectly happy there while Jason and I ate, then he ate, then he pooped then we got him back in the car and got another hour and a half before he was. not. happy.  Naturally at that point, we're so close to where we are going that it doesn't make any sense to stop so we spend the last 20ish minutes with a screaming baby.  FUN!

After some visiting and dinner we check into our motel and try to settle in for the night.  We moved Nate into his own room after he had been home for a few weeks because no one was sleeping.  We kept him up, he kept us up.  It just didn't work.  Friday night brought that all home again.  Nate's schedule was in shreds (shreds) by this time.  So, he's completely exhausted and a super fuss-butt.  We finally get him down in the pack and play and try to get ourselves settled for bed.

And then Nate sneezes...

...and then Nate sighs....

We get to sleep at 11:30

Nate cries twice at 2 a.m....

....he sneezes again at 2:45.

Fast forward to 4 a.m. and he is UP and ready to PLAY.    We finally get him back down at 5:30 and sleep for an hour and a half.

Incidentally we ran into the people that had the room next to us and we apologized for all the noise.  The motel had thin walls and we know Nate woke them up.  And see, this is where having a charming baby makes all the difference.  As we were eating a light breakfast our neighbors came in for theres and Nate made them fall in love with him.  They didn't stand a chance - to the point that they sat down with us and made faces at him for 20 minutes.

We met up with Jason's family after that and visited some more before the long drive back home.  By this point the newness of everything had wigged Nate out to the point that he wouldn't really sleep so we ended up stopping every hour and a half to two hours for a good hour to feed him, change him or play with him.  All I can say is thank god for McDonalds.  Jason and I haven't been to one since we met (his hatred for McDonalds is unnatural) but they are clean, tolerate screaming children, have changing stations and only charge $1 for a soda.   It took us 7 hours to get home

But we made it.  Nate ate, Nate got a bath, Nate slept for 11 hours.

All in all, the road trip wasn't the nightmare I imagined it would be.  But, you couldn't pay me to get back in a car today.

Dear Breastpump

Dear Breastpump -

We've had a very up and down relationship.  Jason and I were determined to breast feed for the first six months.  I knew I'd be seeing you.  After all I have to go back to work and they frown on me bringing my child in every day.  Even still I resented the hell out of you when you were wheeled into my hospital room.  Just seeing you was admitting defeat.  Nate's jaundice got bad.  Really bad.  We spent a night trying to get him to eat, but he'd keep falling asleep.  By 3 a.m. we were wiping the kid down with cold wet washcloths in the hopes that it would piss him off enough to start sucking. I know it was't your fault - the jaundice made the little man lethargic and he had to poop to get better.  You and the formula helped him poop for which I'm eternally thankful.

But then, I had to wake up every three hours and attach you to my breasts like some demon spawn milking machine only to get 1.5 oz.  We worked and worked at getting my milk supply up. I took fenugreek and smelled like pancakes. I drank five cups of mothers milk tea a day.  I drank a beer every night, but we maxed out at 11 oz a day.  But we kept it up. I was happy I could keep giving the little man breast milk and it was nice being able to wake up Jason to tell him it was his turn to feed the baby.  We borrowed your twin from my sister so I could pump in two rooms without having to move you.  Decadence!  After a while pumping was no big deal.  It was a good chance to watch a little t.v. or read a book.  It became some me time at a point in my life where there isn't me, just a whole lotta 

But, I go back to work in two weeks and it just doesn't seem possible to keep pumping every two hours.  So now we have to say goodbye.  It's been a great three months!  I'll see you in a few years when the second kiddo pops out.  Until then, stay out of trouble, and off of other women's boobs.  

Love,

My breasts

Sleep

When we found out we were having Nate, I knew that I would be saying goodbye to sleep.  Everyone told me that you exist on no sleep for years, and once you have the first one sleeping, you're welcoming number two into the world.  The sleep deprivation started during the third trimester.  It turns out you really can't sleep through a near constant need to pee.  On top of that I had really bad carpel tunnel and we have a tall bed, so getting in and out of bed required a fair amount of wakefulness.  Yet everyone kept telling me, "you can not sleep now, or not sleep with a newborn".  They said this like not sleeping with newborn was going to be awful.  I believed them.

And then Nate came.  In the hospital the nurses were constantly telling us to sleep, and then constantly coming in to draw blood, check vitals or blood sugar.  Nate was put on a feeding schedule to help reduce his bilirubin levels.  Every three hours around the clock we'd wake the baby, put him on the breast for a few minutes, hand him to dad for a bottle while I pumped.  Every. Three. Hours.  

Luckily that only lasted three weeks and since then I've been blessed with a sleeper!  Unless he's really tired, Nate doesn't fight sleep (thank god!).  He regularly sleeps 8 hours a night and takes 4-6 hour long naps a day.  That means when he's awake he's the happiest baby.  When he wakes up in the morning, he smiles the biggest smile.  As I peal the blankets of the swaddle back he starts cooing and babbling nonsense, it's the greatest sound to wake up to.

So - to everyone who told me that the sandman had dropped my house from his route.  Suck it!  I'm getting better sleep now then when I was pregnant.  Go Nate!

The Birth

Nathan James

October 12, 2010

7lbs 8oz

22 inches

The date on the camera is a lie

I had gestational diabetes while pregnant and was scheduled to be induced on Monday the 11th of October. When I went in for the induction they checked how far along I was, the doctor was disappointed that I hadn’t progressed at all since he’d stripped my membranes a few days before hand. I was sitting at 1 ½ cm and 50% effaced. He decided to let me labor slowly while they ripened my cervix and start the pitocin the next day.

And… then my labs came back. I was spilling proteins and had high blood pressure. Hello pre-eclampsia! Since the only cure for pre-eclampsia is to get the baby out, they abandoned the plan to let me labor slowly and started the pitocin at 7 a.m.

At 10 a.m. the doctor came back in and inserted a folly bulb to help me get to 3 cm. He stripped my membranes again and inserted the bulb. Not five minutes later I felt it fall out. The doctor had just left the room and the nurse didn’t believe that it had worked so fast. They did a cervical check and sure enough I was at 3! We figured I’d have my boy by dinner.

At 1 p.m. they started the magnesium sulfate to prevent seizures. This is when they started restricting my fluids to half a cup of ice chips ever few hours. To anyone who hasn’t had mag sulfate it’s awful! It makes you hot – we had to turn the room temperature down to 55 and I was still burning up. It makes you thirsty and gives you cotton mouth. But, a side effect is that it causes your cells to hold on to fluids which means you can literally drown if you take in too much fluid so no water!

By dinner time I was only at 4. Around 8 the epidural wore off. I felt horrible pressure and I was really hoping it was time to push. I was still at 4. The anesthesiologist came in after an hour and gave me a few boosts to the epidural and I was pain free until midnight when it wore off again. I had made it to six centimeters around 10 and the pitocin was at 40 (maximum dose) and I figured I was on my way to a c-section. When they checked because of the pain I was at 9 ½. They had me wait a half an hour and checked again. I still had a lip to my cervix so we waiting another half an hour.

I was very nearly at 10. They gave me the option of pushing or waiting another half an hour. At this point the pain was so bad I asked to start pushing. They wouldn’t boost the epidural because they wanted me to feel where to push. And boy did I feel it! After two hours of pushing I was begging for the vacuum. The pain between contractions was so intense I couldn’t tell when I was contracting and when I wasn’t.

The baby was finally far enough down to suck out at around 4 a.m.


 Nathan James was born at 4:29 a.m. on October 12^th. He had the cord wrapped around his neck which is why it took him so long to make his way out in the world. He had low blood sugar at birth which was fixed with a bottle and became severely jaundiced at two days.

Recovery was rough on me. My blood pressure stayed elevated as did my liver enzymes. Nate and I were in the hospital until Saturday (a five day post partum stay) when things finally normalized for both of us.

I was scared I wouldn't like being a mom, or that I wouldn’t love him right away. Those fears went away as soon as I held him for the first time.  He’s a very calm little guy, exactly like he was while I was pregnant. We've had to give up on breastfeeding. We had to introduce formula so early to keep him healthy he completely lost interest in the breast. Added to that my milk never fully came in and now I have a formula fed baby that gets supplemented with breastmilk as often as I can give it to him. I guess that was the first lesson that things don’t always go the way you want them too.